Desire as Destructive Hunger
Die, My LoveThis thematic thread traces desire as a monstrous, ungovernable force that ruins the narrator's body and her family.
increasing
Bearing strength in each event
decreasing
Theory, Not Practice

Theory, Not Practice
Context
The narrator says she likes thinking about sex, not having it, and that she was always good at theory and a failure at practice. She has learned traffic laws by heart but cannot drive.
Turn
She imagines her husband at a roadside hotel with a drive-thru girl, bouncing better than she can. Her mind supplies erotic images while her body stays still.
Aftermath
Desire is already disconnected from action. The narrator is a spectator of her own hunger.
The Horror of Desire

The Horror of Desire
Context
The radiologist calls the desire he feels the horror of this desire. It makes him want to skin, flay and escape what pursues him.
Turn
He cries on his kitchen floor and longs for the narrator's bones, hips and flesh. The image of her grows inside him like a piece of rubbish causing chaos.
Aftermath
Desire is not pleasure but an infection. The radiologist's hunger for the narrator is a sickness with its own symptoms.
The Boiled Sweet

The Boiled Sweet
Context
The narrator waits for a call from the radiologist, her mobile phone burning her hand all day. She says desiring someone is like having a boiled sweet stuck to your neck, scalp and jugular.
Turn
The motorcycle never passes, and the baby's forehead is blazing with fever. Desire and illness merge in her body.
Aftermath
Desire is an alarm she cannot turn off, even when her son is sick. The hungers of the body crowd out the duties of maternity.
The Putrid Morning After

The Putrid Morning After
Context
The narrator pedals home from the radiologist's house with the taste of him in her saliva. She calls desire sticky, putrid and servile.
Turn
She imagines needing aggressive laser treatment to forget his jaw and forehead. The river pulls her along, and she is nothing but a dry branch.
Aftermath
Desire leaves her degraded rather than exalted. The affair's pleasure is inseparable from its filth.
The Twins Laughter

The Twins Laughter
Context
The husband tells the narrator the radiologist's wife is expecting two tiny twins. Although they try to stay serious, they cannot help but laugh.
Turn
The narrator asks what if they have another child, and the question gives the husband a coughing fit. They laugh together for the last time as a happily married couple.
Aftermath
Desire ends in comedy, not tragedy. The destructive hunger of the affair dissolves into a strange, exhausted laughter before the final separation.
a night when the husband is away
in the radiologist's account, after his obsession begins
a day when the narrator stands by the road waiting
the day after the attic encounter
during the final forest conversation